


The End.

by softency



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: A Bunch Of Bad Guys Exist, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Apocalypse, Blood and Violence, Character Death, Groundhog Day, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Im Jaebum | JB-Centric, It's Not Mass Details Of It But It's Still Described?, Just Be Careful K?, Just Straight Up HURT, M/M, Ouch, PLEASE Beware If That Is Possibly Triggering For You, Time Loop, Tragic Romance, Violence, You'll See What I Mean After The First Chapter, hear me out, how the FUcK do i tag this, i'm going to hurt u bad twice before i give u the ending, it'll hurt but it resolves, so there's x2 bad ending and x1 good, there's a genuine ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:27:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27538324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softency/pseuds/softency
Summary: Jaebum tips his head back against the headrest, staring up at the sunrise.It looks like it always does, the colors muted by the smokey and dusty air.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30





	The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️AGAIN, WARNING⚠️  
> TW: GUNS, BLOOD, GUNSHOT WOUNDS, DEATH, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH

Jaebeom slams on the brakes as a man runs into the road out of nowhere.

He’s bloody and panting as if he just ran a marathon, staring straight at Jaebeom.

It’s tense for a few seconds before the man’s head whips to the direction he’d come from and abruptly ducks.

Jaebeom is in the middle of muttering ‘what the fuck’ when a bullet ricochets off the car. 

There’s a split second of nothing happening before they throw the passenger door open and a figure is entering without hesitation. 

Fight or flight kicks in and Jaebeom snatches the gun from the cupholder and presses it to the side of the man’s head, not knowing who the hell this is or if he’s a trap set by the other side. 

The man stills at the feeling of the cool metal against his skin, slowly moving to click the door closed just in time for another bullet to ricochet off the metal. 

“Drive.” The man breathes out, not turning his face towards Jaebeom. “Please, just drive.” 

Jaebeom stares at him for a long moment before seeing movement in his peripherals, drawing his eyes away. There’re men in familiar tactical gear rushing towards them, and it sends Jaebeom’s flight instincts into top gear. 

In one movement he drops the gun on his lap and his foot stomps on the gas, needing to get out of there as quickly as humanly possible. 

He knows those colors and badges, he just doesn’t know who _this_ is sitting next to him. 

  
  
  
It takes two days and a lot of yelling, but now, somehow, Jinyoung has weaseled his way into sticking with Jaebeom.

Jaebeom has no idea why he wants to, but he isn't going to fight it.

“Is this place even real?” Jaebeom murmurs, lolling his head to the side to look at him. The night air is chilling the car’s metal, giving it a bite against his bare arms. “Are _you_ real?” 

“Are you always this messed up in the head?” Jinyoung bites back, his eyes narrowed in annoyedly at him in return. “You’re delusional.”  
“And you’re as out of place as a baby bunny in a dog fighting ring.” Jaebeom comes back effortlessly, looking away and back to the sky. “You’d last two days at most if you walked away right now. They’ll either capture you or kill you.” 

“Who? You still haven’t told me who they are.” Jinyoung presses further, beginning to get under Jaebeom’s skin with all the sharp edges and questions. “Who are _you?”_

“I’m… No one. Not anymore, at least.” He says with a soft puff of a weak laugh, folding his arms fully behind his head. “All you need to know about those people in suits is that they’re the opposite of me.”

“Is that a good or a bad thing?” Jinyoung asks, and to his credit, he seems to hesitate to press on after Jaebeom’s answer this time. 

“That,” He begins, looking back to Jinyoung with a wild glint in his eyes. “Is for you to decide.”

“Do you believe in fate?” Jaebeom asks as they’re driving through a dusty, rundown town. All the traffic signs are rusted over and there’re cracks in the pavement aged enough to have grass and weeds wedged inside. 

“No. I haven’t had any reason to.” Jinyoung says honestly, his feet propped up on the dashboard, shoes still cleaner than any he’s seen in the past year. 

Jaebeom just hums in thought at his answer, nodding once while never taking his eyes off the old road stretched in front of them. 

“Why? Do you?” Jinyoung asks, and out of the corner of his vision Jaebeom sees him stretching out like a cat in the seat.

A bitter smile spreads onto Jaebeom’s lips. 

“I’d have lost my mind if I didn’t believe in something.” He says simply in response, and that seems to sate Jinyoung’s interest in the topic for now. 

“What do you think it’d be like on the moon?” 

Jinyoung doesn’t come at him immediately like he did the first two days together, he just looks at Jaebeom as if he’s thinking the prompt over for once. 

“Cold. Lonely.” Jinyoung responds to one of his off-the-wall questions, it’s the first time and Jaebeom can’t help but stare back in wonder. 

“That’s no different from right now. What if we’re the moon and that’s actually the earth?” Jaebeom rambles on, looking up at the sky from where he is sprawled out on the grass, Jinyoung sitting upright a few feet away.

“Jaebeom?”

“Mhm?” He hums, waiting for an answer now since Jinyoung already gave him one.

“Shut up.”

Jaebeom grins, _there he is, that’s more like him._

  
  


It takes nearly a full night of driving to get to the next town over. It’s better than the last, it’s been spared from the chaos and destruction that overtook the cities that are easily accessible and close together. 

“Oh, wow…” Jinyoung breathes out as they’re driving on the broken road that wraps around the entire area, giving them enough cover to park Jaebeom’s car in between two old, abandoned ones in the backyard of a home. The building is nearly falling down, but from what he could see, a family with kids lived here. Idly, Jaebeom hopes they made it out unscathed because they certainly didn’t drive away in their escape like so many people did. 

Jaebeom sits back and turns his eyes towards Jinyoung, just taking a moment to watch him before Jinyoung notices and he speaks up.

“I need you to stay here.” He says mumbles quietly, gently, because as soon as the words leave his lips it pulls the reaction he’d expected from Jinyoung. 

“What the fuck- _No.”_ Jinyoung immediately fusses, his hand already on the door handle.

“I have to scope out the area and make sure no one is here, if we both leave the car it’ll get hijacked because-” Jaebeom taps on the top of the car door with one of his fingers. “This baby doesn’t lock, I don't have the original keys.”

“Wait-” Jinyoung interrupts, his hand falling from the door back to his lap and his eyes glazing over with confusion. “This _isn’t_ your car?”

That pulls a laugh out of Jaebeom and he shakes his head with an amused smile. “Finders keepers.” He says nearly tauntingly before reaching back behind the seat and tossing something at Jinyoung.

The man scrambles to catch it and barely does, getting a full look at what’s in his hands before turning his eyes back to Jaebeom. “A walkie talkie? Won’t this like- isn’t it going to be noisy?”

“If you’re going to use it, I need it to be noisy.” Jaebeom pulls out a nearly identical one from under his seat, shaking it a bit in his hand as if it’s going to help Jinyoung understand more. “I’ll have my volume on, you keep yours off at all times. If anything drives by or if someone spots the car and tries to get in-” Jaebeom drops his own in his lap carelessly and takes Jinyoung’s hand in both of his own, gently positioning his index finger to the small orange button on the top of the radio. 

He presses his finger down and Jinyoung nearly jumps out of his skin as both of their radios screen light up orange and Jaebeom’s own radio loudly begins beeping. 

Jinyoung seems stunned enough to not make a snide comment and Jaebeom guides him to then press the ‘push to talk’ button on the side, and the beeping stops, but the screen stays orange. 

“And you’ll know I’m on my way when you see this happen, alright?” Jaebeom explains as best as he can, reaching down and pressing the ‘push to talk’ on his own radio, causing both screens to turn back to the small glow it had been at before. “You can do that for me, right?” He asks expectantly, the smile going softer and more fond as Jinyoung takes a moment before nodding.

“But won’t they see me in the car-”

“You’ll be down in the backseat, so even if they get in they won’t immediately see you.” Jaebeom interrupts and Jinyoung’s mouth shuts.

“You’ll be back, right?” He asks in a softer, more vulnerable voice, and Jaebeom immediately wants to lie and tell him that ‘yeah, he’ll be fine. It should be safe’ but he just _can’t._

“Ten minutes. Give me ten minutes before you get in the driver's seat and leave.”

Jinyoung instantly looks panicked at that. “Jaebeom, I’m not gonna leave you- _I can’t.”_ He nearly pleads, but Jaebeom just shakes his head a tiny bit.

“If I’m not back, you take the road out of the town and head south until you run out of gas.” He says firmly and Jinyoung seems to understand that there’s no arguing with him on this and he hesitantly nods at the directions just dropped on him. Jaebeom is quiet for a moment, making sure Jinyoung isn’t going to freak out once he leaves the safety of the car. 

“Ten minutes.” He says gently, letting go of Jinyoung’s hand and reaching for the car door. He nearly thinks he sees Jinyoung’s hand twitch as if to reach for his touch again, but he settles it as his imagination when his hand doesn’t move anymore. 

“Ten minutes.” Jinyoung repeats hesitantly, looking like he wants to stop Jaebeom again, but thankfully he doesn’t. 

“Climb in the back, ‘Nyong. Stay safe.” Jaebeom opens the car door nearly silently, stepping his first foot out before there’s a hand gripping his bicep. 

“Come back for me.” Jinyoung pleads gently, watching him close for his reaction.

“I’ll try. I can’t promise, but I’ll try for you.” He reassures the best he can, stepping fully out of the car and giving him one last smile before leaving the safe bubble of the car and shutting the door quietly, separating him and Jinyoung completely for the first time. 

Jaebeom takes a deep breath, gives Jinyoung what he hopes is a confident enough smile, and begins walking away from the car to the house they’re behind. 

The door is open when he gets to it; it looks like someone kicked it in, so these people must have locked the house before fleeing. 

It’s like the town welcomes Jaebeom, not putting anything in his way between each home and he carelessly throws supplies they could use into his backpack.

It’s nearing the time for him to go back, and he’s walking down a sidewalk, looking at the old, frozen in time movie theatre across the street curiously. There’s no time to go inside like he wants to, but there’s nothing stopping him from pausing for a brief moment to take it all in. 

Jaebeom must have been there too long. He got lost in his mind as he read the posters plastered on the outside, because he gets the fuck scared out of him when a shrill screaming sound disrupts the peaceful quiet he had found comfort in. 

He has to fidget with his watch to get the alarm to shut off, it’s old and the buttons on the sides don’t work half the time. 

The beeping halts and Jaebeom lets out a breath in relief, taking the first few steps to find his way back to the car before he’s stopped in his tracks. 

Jaebeom hears a click and fear chills his blood before he hears a gunshot, and not a second later burning pain erupts through his shoulder.

He thinks he hears a truck engine start up and Jaebeom takes off running down the alley, feeling another bullet graze his side. 

All that’s running through his head, screaming on repeat, is that he has to get back to Jinyoung. 

He has a minute left and he’s running as fast as he can, nearly tripping over stray trash that’s littered along the back alleys. 

He can get back to the car in a minute, he has to. 

The watch beeps a second time just as he scrambles around the corner and Jaebeom hears the engine rumble to life. He’s late. He’s late but he’s so close to making it that he takes the chance and runs through the last two open backyards, giving anyone a shot at him. 

The brake lights light up and Jaebeom can feel the full panic settling in, knowing Jinyoung is lowering the emergency brake and about to start to leave. 

His fingers wrap around the handle in the same moment as the tires begin to roll.

Jaebeom yanks open the door and pretty much throws himself inside, slamming it behind him. Jinyoung, in his defence, doesn’t scream bloody murder like he would have two days ago. 

He _does_ yell, but it’s nothing Jaebeom can’t brush off. 

_“Go!”_ He nearly yells, hearing a bullet graze the metal of the car. 

Jinyoung listens this time, he floors it and in seconds the tires are spinning and they’re on the road leading out of town again. 

Jaebeom watches the mirrors the entire time they’re leaving, making sure there isn’t suddenly a truck popping out of nowhere and chasing them. Adrenaline is pumping through his veins still, but it’s slowly beginning to wear off and pain is thrumming in his veins.

He pops open the glove box and grabs gauze, fumbling with it with one hand to get the packaging open before pressing it hard against the wound and hissing in pain from the pressure. It doesn’t feel great, but he’d rather not bleed out if he can help it.

It’s quiet between them for a long time before Jinyoung has to turn off of the road they’d been driving. He looks over at Jaebeom with fear sparkling in his wet eyes, and it’s at that moment that he realizes Jinyoung is visibly shaking. 

Jinyoung opens his mouth but nothing comes out, instead a tear falls from his eyes, quickly trailing down his cheeks and in this moment Jaebeom forgets about everything else, he forgets about his shoulder, the people in the truck, all that matters right now is _Jinyoung._

“Just a little longer, Jinyoung. We’re close to somewhere safe.” He guides, his voice nearly cracking as he just stares back at him, not knowing how to help without putting them both in danger. There might still be people trailing them, they can’t stay here out in the open for much longer.

Jinyoung looks like he’s about to break down fully right here and now, but thankfully he visibly steels himself and nods in a tiny movement before turning the steering wheel and taking the turn. 

It’s about five minutes before Jaebeom instructs him to pull into a parking garage that looks like it hadn’t even been used _before_ everything ended. Jinyoung pulls the car up close to the side of a wall that’s hard to fully see, even when they’re on the same floor level as it. 

Jinyoung fusses over him as he pops open the door to the car and goes to step out by himself, scurrying over to Jaebeom and gently letting him drape the arm that isn’t connected to the wounded shoulder over his own, taking the majority of Jaebeom’s weight even when he says he can walk just fine. He keeps the gauze in place with the other, just bending the arm enough to keep it stable while securing that the wound won’t be out in the open again.

“Keys. They’re… They’re in my right pocket.” He manages to get out, exhaustion from both the pain and the aftermath of the adrenaline finally settling in. 

“Keys?” Jinyoung repeats unsure, but he hesitantly reaches into Jaebeom’s pocket and pulls out a keyring holding endless types of keys, some big, some small, some broken completely and one or two that look shiny and new. “What do I do with them?” He asks, looking back to Jaebeom skeptically.

“That door over there, we’re going in it. Unlock it for me.” Jaebeom instructs, giving in and letting Jinyoung willingly take some of his weight as they make their way over to the metal door. It almost looks like the freezer door of a restaurant, the latch isn’t rusted like nearly everything else in the building and the two locks look scratched up, no doubt that people tried to break in countless times without succeeding and gave up in the end.

“Do… You want to lie down..?” He asks gently, nearly making Jaebeom laugh at the question.  
“Yeah, if you can get me a rag that’d be peachy.” Jaebeom responds with a soft chuckle, moving to weakly walk to the mattress on the floor and ungracefully lowering himself down with a groan in pain when he has to move his shoulder even the slightest bit. 

“A rag. Right.” Jinyoung repeats, closing and relocking the door before Jaebeom even has to instruct him to do so. “You’re- You need a rag.” He rambles out, his voice getting more and more breathy as he continues. 

It takes Jaebeom a moment before he registers hazily that Jinyoung is shaking again, but this time more violently as he clumsily searches around the small room, knocking over things in his rush. He’s trying to ground himself, Jinyoung is panicking and is continuing on because that’s the only thing he knows how to do right now. 

Jinyoung rushes over to him with a first aid box, eyes frantically searching over him as if there will be any visible clues on what the hell to do now. 

Jaebeom wets his lips before reaching out to take the box, but to his surprise Jinyoung immediately reels back and clutches the first aid kit to his chest, denying Jaebeom permission to take it for himself.

A soft sigh leaves him before he drops his unharmed arm back down and stares at him tiredly. “Take the rag in there and press down hard. Most of the bleeding slowed down in the car, but I need you to hold pressure, alright?” Jaebeom instructs, knowing the gauze is most likely too dangerous to change out at this point, so a rag on top of it has to work for now. 

Jinyoung hesitates for a moment before nodding a tiny bit, sitting next to him on the bed and hurriedly pulling out the folded up rag from the kit. When he presses down he’s still scared to hurt him, Jaebeom can tell and even though it does send a shot of warmth through him, he’s getting colder and needs to fix this _now._

“Harder.” He breathes out, shifting a bit under Jinyoung. “Lean your weight against me, you have to press hard to fully stop bleeding.” He knows Jinyoung must have never had to do this before, hell, the man has never even probably _seen_ a gun up close before, so he won’t let himself be too hard on him. Jinyoung looks uncomfortable but he gradually leans his weight onto the wound, making Jaebeom hiss, but he stops him before he can retreat at the sound. “I’m alright, you’re doing well, just… Just press down like this for a good ten minutes, alright? I can’t- I won’t be able to track the time right now.” 

Jinyoung nods and Jaebeom can see his eyes getting more and more glassy, but his admiration for the other man goes further as Jinyoung refuses to give into the panic fully, keeping that break down at bay while he’s helping Jaebeom. 

“Where did you grow up?” Jaebeom asks quietly, needing to keep himself awake. “You never told me.” 

“Ebonvein.” Jinyoung says in a whisper, only speaking up after more than a few beats of silence where Jaebeom had doubted he would even acknowledge the question at all. “Where did you?”

“Deadacre.”

A weak but amused laugh echoes off the concrete walls. “Of course you lived on the beaches, how did… How did you get all the way out here?”

“I drove.” Jaebeom retorts, earning a genuine laugh from Jinyoung. “I was looking for old friends, just before I found you I’d figured out where they are.”

“Is that where we’re heading?” He asks gently, his voice finally above a whisper but not by much. Jaebeom makes a sound in conformation, glancing at Jinyoung for a second before returning his stare to the ceiling, not being able to handle the look in the younger’s eyes right now. “Do they know you’re coming?”

Jaebeom wants to laugh at that. He would be if he wasn’t in a state of a steady thrum of pain flowing through his veins. “They don’t think I’m alive.” He admits quietly, his voice dipping into something more raw, not the usual chaotic lilt he spoke with. 

“What do you mean?” Jinyoung always shoots back questions when Jaebeom barely just finished the last sound of his word, and if it wasn’t so endearing it would be incredibly annoying. “You haven’t been alone-...”  
Jinyoung cuts himself off, and Jaebeom can nearly hear the gears working in his head. He’s finally piecing the small fragments that Jaebeom has given him of himself together. 

It’s dead silent for a couple minutes, Jinyoung figuring things out himself and Jaebeom still too uneasy about opening up verbally to help. “How long?” Jinyoung finally asks, and a bitter smile pulls at the edges of Jaebeom’s lips. 

“Since the beginning.” He reluctantly admits, licking his lips nervously. “We were together, they lived in Deadacre along with me. They found us a few days in and only saw my car, so left everyone and put myself on their radar so they could be safe.” 

“God, you’re still half crazy. I won’t go back on that, but you… You’re the most genuine person I’ve ever met.” Jinyoung breathes out, and it pulls Jaebeom’s lips up into a real grin. 

“I’ll take that as long as it’s coming from you.” He relents, moving to look at him fully for the first time since they made it into the room. 

There’s a quick silence that falls between them as soon as their eyes lock together and Jaebeom doesn’t know whether or not he likes it. The atmosphere took a turn and now there’s a tension looming over them that wasn’t there earlier in the day before everything went to shit. 

“What do I do after this?” Jinyoung is the first to break the silence, successfully ripping away the small moment they we're having. 

“There’s a bandage in there, take this gauze off since it’s fully soaked and put that on. It’ll keep it clean so it can heal.” He explains softly, giving him a small reassuring smile when Jinyoung’s face pales at the thought that he has to see the wound. “It’ll be okay, sweetheart. We should be able to hide here for a few days until I can hopefully drive again.” 

Jinyoung at least does seem to take some comfort at the fact that they’re not getting right back on the road immediately.

In his defence, Jinyoung doesn’t overreact to the blood. He looks nauseous at the sight of the wound but he powers through it and gets the bandage on. Jaebeom complies the best he can in the process, giving soft instructions in the haze he’s currently in. He’s tired, the adrenaline has completely left his system and all that’s left keeping him present and not completely zoning out is the fact that Jinyoung’s hands are still shaking. 

Once it’s all finished and the plastic of the first aid box clicks back to being securely closed, he offers out one arm to Jinyoung. 

It takes a minute before Jinyoung gets the idea of what he’s doing, but when it finally clicks for him Jinyoung lets out a sigh that’s heavy and mentally exhausted. It’s only a few seconds before Jinyoung is lying down with him and pressing against his side that’s not hurt.  
It is actually really sweet how gentle Jinyoung is with the situation even when he clearly needs something to ground and comfort him after all of this, taking the extra effort to make sure he isn’t in any way putting pressure or moving Jaebeom’s shoulder. 

Jaebeom welcomes the weight easily. But he suddenly finds comfort in it too, where he’d used to think things like this were suffocating. Maybe it’s just the moment, or maybe it’s Jinyoung in general, but it feels nice to wrap his arm around Jinyoung’s middle and let him lean half on top of him as he finally lets out the dam of emotions. 

All he can do is rub Jinyoung’s back as he shakes with the first sob that breaks open the gates for all the rest that follow, and Jaebeom quickly finds his shoulder getting wet through his shirt with tears. 

He doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t even know if it would help, so he settles for just being here, for just holding him as Jinyoung crumbles for the first time in front of him.

He doesn’t know when they fell asleep, or even who fell asleep first, but Jaebeom wakes up hours later with Jinyoung holding onto his hoodie like he’s terrified to let go of him for even a second.

Jaebeom actually kind of finds it cute, surprisingly. It warms up something fond in his chest that he doesn’t expect.

It doesn’t take long before Jinyoung wakes up, his grip tightening before he shifts against Jaebeom, letting out a soft groan as he slowly drifts awake.

“Morning sleeping beauty.” Jaebeom murmurs, his voice still rough and scratchy from sleep. Jinyoung lets out a soft huff in response, nuzzling his face against Jaebeom’s collar bone through the hoodie. “Feeling a little bit better?” 

Jinyoung seems to slowly be powering on his brain, and when Jaebeom slips his hand under the man’s tee shirt to soothingly rub his back, that’s when he feels comfortable enough to open up. “I thought you weren’t coming back.” He says quietly into the fabric, almost too soft for Jaebeom to hear, but when he catches it his heart thrums with pain. “I though you were dead and- and I was _so scared,_ Jaebeom.” 

Jaebeom doesn’t know what to say to that admission at first, not used to the openness of feelings between them that Jinyoung is presenting right now. “I’m sorry. I was on my way back when they shot me, I had to make sure they wouldn’t easily follow me back to the car so I went through all the back alleys I could.” He finally manages to get out, his hand never stopping moving against Jinyoung’s back. 

Jinyoung lifts his head enough to catch Jaebeom’s eyes and it’s clear he’s about to say something. But he doesn’t. His lips are parted already but he stops, pausing for a moment as the tension between them skyrockets to an all time high. 

The conversation drops in seconds, both of them staring at each other silently. 

He doesn’t know how long they’re both frozen like that, but Jaebeom is dazed enough by it to not notice _who_ leans in first, but just that his Jinyoung’s lips are suddenly on his.

It’s slow and needy, both of them searching for any source of comfort and luckily the kiss warms up his body enough to keep him relaxed. Jinyoung is significantly more fidgety than him, carefully guiding the kiss along and taking what he needs from Jaebeom, who’s content with giving all of the control over right now.

Jinyoung kisses him like a dying man finally getting a taste of water, and he guesses that he _is_ that for Jinyoung. A lifeline in many ways. 

Jaebeom lets out a gasp as Jinyoung nips at his bottom lip just on the edge of painfully, choking out a moan not even a second later as Jinyoung’s tongue slides into his mouth like it belongs there. He kisses Jaebeom like it’s natural between them, like they’ve been together for far too many years to count and not in the same reality that Jaebeom had nearly ran him over as a first impression.

He can’t be sure of how long they stay there together, just feeding off of something, anything to make them feel a tiny bit normal again. 

Jaebeom hazily blinks open his eyes as Jinyoung’s lips leave his just in time to see a deep blush lighting up Jinyoung’s ears. He tries to hide it from him, tucking his face back into Jaebeom’s neck and letting out a content, relaxed sigh. 

“I want to spend another day here with you, I don’t want to go back to everything just yet.” Jinyoung speaks so quietly that Jaebeom has to strain his ears to hear him, but when he does his heart jerks at the undertone of longing in Jinyoung’s voice. Had he always spoke like that? Did Jaebeom just never notice, too wrapped up in his own scattered thoughts to realize Jinyoung had looked at him like this all along?

“Whatever you want is fine with me.” Jaebeom states honestly, moving his hand further up Jinyoung’s back, pushing his shirt up with the movement as he rests comfortingly against his shoulder blades. “We can’t stay long, but I can give you another day.” 

“Thank you.” Jinyoung breathes out, moving to press against him again, keeping them lying in the same spot for as long as he can manage. Jaebeom, well, he doesn’t mind not moving right now. 

“C’mon, sit up for me.” Jinyoung urges a while later, sitting up first and running a hand through his hair. “You need to eat, you have to have something around here somewhere, right?” 

Jaebeom just lets out a grunt in protest to the idea of moving, not liking it one bit. “The corner by the door, there’s a crate of supplies there.” He doesn’t know how Jinyoung does it, but when he looks back at him with eyes that showcase genuine concern over his wellbeing, Jaebeom breaks his composure and tells him what he wanted to know. 

Jinyoung trails off over to the door, his socked feet barely making any sound for the first few seconds before there’s a thump and a muffled groan echoes from the direction Jinyoung had moved towards. 

Jaebeom looks up, blinking a few times to adjust his eyes properly and having to stifle a giggle when he sees Jinyoung holding his foot. “You okay there, princess?” He asks, stretching out his good arm and feeling the joint pop, relieving some of the stiffness that had built up over the night in his muscles.

“Don’t- _Jaebeom quit it.”_ Jinyoung starts to lightly protest, but it immediately turns into scolding when Jaebeom can’t hold back his laughter anymore. 

It’s been a long time since he’s laughed, since he’s been relaxed and carefree enough to let himself get this vulnerable. 

“Come back to bed, pretty boy.” He urges, lazily reaching in Jinyoung’s direction with the same arm and letting out a soft yawn. 

He can see the way Jinyoung’s eyes shoot to his hand as soon as he moves in his direction, seemingly stunned for a moment. His eyes move after a few moments, trailing up Jaebeom’s arm to his shoulder, gradually getting to his lips, and then finally meeting his gaze without hesitation. He can see that Jinyoung is tempted to give into Jaebeom’s ways and just forget about everything, to give up his values and worried thoughts for just a little bit longer in Jaebeom’s arms. 

Jinyoung blinks once, twice, and then swiftly turns to head back towards his goal. Seems like Jaebeom didn’t win this one. Maybe next time.

They’re two different people after all, they don’t have anything that comes close to being similar in their thought process or morals, they’ve found out. It shouldn’t surprise him, and it doesn’t.

He just begins to scheme a way to be more tempting next time as he watches Jinyoung pull out cans and carefully read each label individually.

Eventually he seems to decide on one, using an old nearby opener to pop open the lid and returns back to Jaebeom with the food in one hand, and a single fork in another. 

Jaebeom tilts his head to the side as soon as he sees that in an obvious question, but doesn’t get far as Jinyoung crouches down beside him and sets everything down on the floor beside the mattress. 

“Up, c’mon. You can’t eat lying down, you’ll choke.” Jinyoung quietly fusses and it clicks for Jaebeom after a few seconds. The fork must be for him, but he can’t hold both to eat, so…

He lets Jinyoung manhandle him to where he’s sitting up and leaning back against the wall, watching him with curious eyes, wanting to see if he’s right in what he thinks is happening.

Well, he couldn’t have been more wrong. 

He thought Jinyoung was just going to place the can near him for him to eat from, but no. 

No, it’s never that easy with Jinyoung. 

He scoots the items close but his body moves even closer, momentarily stunning Jaebeom as he just watches as Jinyoung climbs into his lap, contently finding a comfortable space before reaching back to the can and fork and picking them up himself. 

“Open.” Jinyoung instructs and Jaebeom’s brain fizzles at how easily Jinyoung dips into a commanding tone like that, idly a split second thought of how well he’d do as a father shoots across his brain. 

“Jinyoung, you don’t have to-” Jaebeom rambles out as soon as his entire system reboots and he can understand the entirety of what’s happening. 

Jinyoung is seemingly having none of his dramatics. “Shut up, ‘Beom. Just let me do this; if not for you, then for me.” 

Jaebeom doesn’t know what to say to that, he doesn’t know any way to reflect it, so he doesn’t say anything and he opens his mouth obediently. 

The relieved smile that pulls on Jinyoung’s lips is worth the burning feeling of a dark flush spreading down his neck. 

Jinyoung doesn’t look away from him as he leads the fork to Jaebeom’s lips, glancing down at them as Jaebeom welcomes the food easily, closing his lips around the metal as Jinyoung pulls it away. Jinyoung’s eyes flicker back up to his own and there’s something that wasn’t there a minute ago, but Jaebeom can guess what it is. 

He’s never seen visible longing before, he’s never felt it or had any desire to possibly come near it, but this, if anything, is what he guesses it would look like. 

Jaebeom chews slowly, feeling the tension between them suddenly skyrocket again and he feels like he’s walking a thin line between going too far and not being able to turn back, and wanting a taste of something he knows he’ll regret if he doesn’t take it now. 

Jinyoung places more food onto the fork and Jaebeom drops his mouth open as it draws close again. 

It’s almost hypnotizing in a way. They fall into a silent rhythm, Jinyoung gets more food, Jaebeom’s mouth opens, Jinyoung’s hand and eyes linger too long to be sane, rinse and repeat. 

Neither of them make any sort of move, Jaebeom suddenly too overwhelmed by the man in his lap, basically spoon feeding him to regather any brain cells to flirt with him like he’d done minutes ago. 

“Who knew you could be this quiet.” Jinyoung snidely comments, but unlike all the times before, he has no audible bite in his tone. It’s teasing if anything.

He likes it. 

Jaebeom meets his eyes with a knowing grin pulling at the edges of his lips again, curling into a mischievous grin. 

The next time Jinyoung brings the fork to his lips he welcomes it like he had, but then as Jinyoung is pulling it away he makes a show of licking it clean. 

The change in the atmosphere is instant, something seems to nearly snap inside of Jinyoung, causing him to freeze and look at Jaebeom with challenging eyes, as if he’s daring Jaebeom to do it again, to see what will happen.

Lucky (or unlucky) for him, Jaebeom lost any hesitation and impulse control months ago. 

His own hand moves up to gently slip the metal out of Jinyoung’s hand, his heart racing as adrenaline slowly begins to simmer inside of him, giving him the courage to briefly take back the upper hand between them. 

“Want a taste?” He asks in a tauntingly innocent voice, the grin on his lips and the way he instantly throws the fork to the side painting a clear picture for Jinyoung who’s still paused where he had left off. 

“Jaebeom…” Jinyoung says his name like he’s warning Jaebeom that this isn’t a good idea, that this isn’t smart, but Jaebeom simply doesn’t care.

“If you want something, take it.” Jaebeom says without hesitation, waiting patiently but not pushing Jinyoung too much. If he doesn’t want anything from Jaebeom or is uncomfortable Jaebeom will understand, but right now it really does seem like Jaebeom is right in his guess. 

Jinyoung is frozen for a few seconds before he lets out a shaky breath, and Jaebeom can see the second that he cracks and Jaebeom wins him over.

There’s no more hesitation as Jinyoung leans closer, kissing the mischievous smile off of Jaebeom’s lips. 

Jaebeom laughs against his lips, kissing him back easily. He doesn’t love Jinyoung, but damn he could learn to. He’s his opposite and Jaebeom loves that, he loves how easily Jinyoung rivals him. 

They end up lounging around for the rest of the day, Jinyoung only moving around again to go grab more food to convince Jaebeom to eat before they fall asleep. 

Jaebeom can hear him moving things around but he doesn’t feel any urge to watch him like he had the previous time.

“You have a camera?” Jinyoung’s voice breaks out into the silent room and Jaebeom just affirmingly hums in response. “Is there film inside?” 

Jaebeom glances over to him at the second question, eyeing the instant camera in his hands. “There should be.” He murmurs, his eyes trailing up to Jinyoung’s before looking back at the camera. “C’mere, we can take a picture together.” 

That seems to catch Jinyoung off guard before a soft laugh escapes him, moving back to Jaebeom’s side.

He fiddles with the buttons and Jaebeom just watches him with a fond smile as he eventually finds how to turn the camera on. Jinyoung comes closer, molding himself against Jaebeom’s side and holding out the camera backwards to take a picture of them together. Jaebeom lets out a soft laugh, watching as he adjusts his grip then turning to steal another look at Jinyoung. 

The camera flashes while he’s looking at Jinyoung, who’s smiling and holding up a peace sign.

Jinyoung ends up back on his lap a minute later, still insistent on feeding him, and Jaebeom can’t bring himself to protest this time.

The next morning the initial pain of the gunshot wound is dulled, more of a spread out spike of pain whenever he has to move around. He can drive well enough like this, they have to leave today no matter what. 

Jaebeom wakes up first, Jinyoung pressed tight against him.

“Jinyoung...” Jaebeom urges after a while of being awake alone, drawing small patterns across his back. 

Jinyoung is seemingly ignoring him, because Jaebeom can feel the way his previously low and steady breathing changes to a more controlled and faster-paced rhythm. 

“Jinyoung, you gotta wake up.” Jaebeom urges, trying to keep his voice quiet enough to not break through the small safe bubble they built for themselves in this room. 

“Don’t want to.” Jinyoung grumbles and it pulls something fond and endearing from his forgotten emotions. 

“Neither do I, but we have to keep going.” Jaebeom reluctantly admits and that’s what seems to be the thing that persuades Jinyoung into moving off him.

Jaebeom watches as Jinyoung rolls onto his back next to him, stretching out like a cat in the sun before sitting up groggily. 

“Should we take some more food from here?” A hand reaches towards him without hesitation, threading through his hair in an affectionate way that feels surprisingly good. 

He nods and Jinyoung mirrors the action, hazily getting up and rubbing his eyes as he shuffles towards the corner with all the food in it. 

Jaebeom ends up holding the backpack they brought inside with them while Jinyoung loads all the food inside. 

There’s no trouble waiting for them outside of the heavy door and Jaebeom is thankful for that at least. They climb in the car and Jaebeom throws his bag into the backseat messily before shutting his door and getting comfortable in the seat of the cold car. 

Luckily, the car starts on the first try and Jaebeom lets out a breath in relief that no one siphoned out and stole what gas is left. 

“Buckle up, we’re not stopping for a long while.” Jaebeom says softly, messing with the radio before the mostly blown out speakers crack and fizzle, playing an old, scratched up r&b cd. 

Jinyoung settles in and gets comfortable, looking so at home and peaceful that Jaebeom can almost ignore that they’re in a wasteland, constantly being hunted by people who want to kill them. 

Maybe if he met him earlier, when he still had his mind in one piece and the world wasn’t out to get both of them, they could have fell in love and lived happily ever after. 

Maybe. 

The drive is the same as every one is, empty except signs halfway toppled over and the road cracked and bumpy at best. 

They don’t speak much, Jaebeom doen’t know what to say, he’s never been good at talking and if he opens his mouth now some random bullshit is going to come out like it always does when he tries to break the silence. 

The car doesn’t stop until Jaebeom sees the sun finally completely disappears and he’s forced to call it a night for now. The headlights are busted out, the right one will still faintly glow but it’s nothing that he can come even remotely close to navigating with. 

He drives them beside a wooded area, parking in a dirt parking lot and slotting the car away from view as much as he possibly can. 

A sigh escapes Jaebeom as he finally puts the car in park and turns the engine off in the same movement. He rubs at his eyes carelessly, feeling exhaustion creeping in on him more than he’s used to. It’s the shoulder’s doing, it has to be, but he’ll be fine. They’ll be fine. They can make more progress tomorrow, but for now Jaebeom needs to sleep. 

“How close are we?” Jinyoung asks quietly, taking off his seat belt and already reclining his seat to get comfortable, used to sleeping in here by now. 

“Close. Maybe two days away.” It doesn’t feel real to be this close, and Jaebeom is just waiting for something to rip him away from safety like it had in the beginning. 

He doesn’t tell Jinyoung that. Jinyoung doesn’t need to worry years off his life like Jaebeom has. 

“Good.” Jinyoung breathes out, and even with little to no light, just whatever the moon is offering them tonight, Jaebeom can see a happy grin pulling at Jinyoung’s lips. “Do you think your friends will like me?” 

A fond smile grows on Jaebeom’s lips. “Yeah, they’ll love you.” He says genuinely and his grin gets bigger as Jinyoung idly reaches over and laces their fingers together. 

They both end up falling asleep in the middle of talking, one of Jaebeom’s hands laced with Jinyoung’s, the other resting over a gun in his lap because he’s not taking any chances, not now. 

  
  


When Jaebeom wakes up the next morning to the sun shining in his eyes he’s hesitant to give in and wake up. He’s tired, they drove more than he’s used to with one arm yesterday and his eyes need a break- _he_ needs a break. 

After a few moments he makes a discontent sound and blinks his eyes open, having to squint to not get completely blinded. It can’t be too late in the morning hours, probably around nine in the morning from where the sun is sitting in the sky. 

Jaebeom yawns blinking a few times before looking on instinct to the passenger seat where Jinyoung has been since he first showed up before his blood runs cold.

Panic flares in his system in the next second, scrambling to touch the seat to feel for any warmth but there’s nothing there, no trace that another human body was sitting there any time recently. 

“No,” He breathes out, scrambling to push the gun out of his lap and get out of the car. He flings the door open and trips over the edge of the car as he tries to get out in a rush, falling to the dirt and scrambling to get up. “No, not like this- _No.”_ He almost begs, his breathing speeding up drastically. 

A gun presses to the back of his head the moment he stumbles past the trunk of the car, stilling him immediately. 

There’s movement at his feet, and it takes a few seconds for him to realize it’s Jinyoung’s bloody wallet lying on the ground in front of him now. 

“You two almost got away, you had a good run. Now, it’s time for you to join him.” The man rasps and Jaebeom laughs, he _laughs_ because he can feel his mind and heart shattering simultaneously. 

He isn’t given an opportunity to fight back, not that he would even at this point, before his knees are kicked from behind and he’s forced to catch himself on his knees. 

“Do it you fucking coward.” Jaebeom hisses out, tempting the man as he stares down at the Polaroid of them that fell out. 

There’s silence before a gunshot echoes through the field, stirring the animals in the area and sending birds flying. 

What the man doesn’t realize is he’s doing Jaebeom a favor, because he can’t keep going alone- _He can’t. He won’t. He’s already too far gone._

As his blood joins Jinyoung’s, the universe resets.

The loop renews as Jaebeom’s body hits the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ,,, hi  
> i've never written anything without a happy or open ending, so this fic is just me going out on a limb and seeing if i'm any good at it. people have mentioned it to me before so,,, i'm here to deliver whatever the fuck this is going to turn out to be.  
> it's just one big blanket of hurt.  
> i'll be back with two more chapters, obviously. this isn't done, and i'm not leaving this with them dying as the ending, i'm too weak for that.
> 
> my [twitter](https://twitter.com/softency) is the best place to see what I am working on/when I post <3  
> if you have any fic requests drop them on my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/softency) and i'll gradually make my way around to them!


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